Microsoft Patents Virtual Handshakes, Hugs 87
theodp writes "'It can be tough to stay connected over long distances,' writes GeekWire's Todd Bishop. 'Yes, there's phone calls, texting, Facebook, Twitter, IM, video chatting and everything else. But what if you could give virtual hugs to each other using battery-powered, Internet-enabled pillows?' That — and more — is covered by Microsoft's newly-awarded patent on Force-Feedback Within Telepresence, the idea of using interactive, connected devices to bring physical interactions to long-distance communications. Readers of Ted Nelson's 1975 Computer Lib/Dream Machines can only imagine the interesting possibilities for Skype!"
My patent (Score:5, Funny)
I should patent virtual fuck-offs. FP.
Re: (Score:3)
ah, you're getting close to fufme then.
http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/index.shtml.html [welookdoyou.com]
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prior art (Score:2, Interesting)
There was a joke a while back about physically punching people through the computer screen, and today we have vibrators that work exactly like this (and vibrating underwear). Wouldn't that be prior art and an example of longdistance physical activity between people?
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There was a joke a while back about physically punching people through the computer screen, and today we have vibrators that work exactly like this (and vibrating underwear). Wouldn't that be prior art and an example of longdistance physical activity between people?
http://www.bash.org/?4281 [bash.org]
been done in cyberspace for over a century (Score:5, Insightful)
Cyberspace a hundred years ago included newspapers, telegrams and postal mail. Of course we gave virtual hugs and kisses with letters and telegrams: XX OO XXX OO
Re:been done in cyberspace for over a century (Score:4, Insightful)
This year's winner of the Darwin award.
Send semen filled cookies to a bunch of soldiers deployed in Afghanistan. No chance at all of them being impossibly pissed off, statistically one of them being mentally unbalanced due to the stress of war, and no chance at all of them being angry enough to seek revenge.
All of them stateside at some point, with expensive military training, access to weapons, and a reason to come find you and beat the living shit out of you.
Not to mention, as a whole, soliders seem to be the most homophobic. Personal opinion, I might be wrong.
Ohhhh, and soliders tend to have solider friends. Some of them might be stateside already.
Hehehe Hhehehe Heheheh........
Yes. Sleep soundly. Nothing to worry about at all.
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Just put your worst enemy's return address on the package. Like they are going to check.
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... then spitting my semen (I had not ejaculated for weeks) into a big bowl of cookie batter... Now my mistress and I are spending Christmas together, making dinner for mutual friends.
I think I would avoid eating at your house...
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Hey cool I read this same exact story, except with a regular television show, not anime, about... let's see, fifteen years ago? Twenty?
Maybe you should steal something a little more obscure next time.
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This was a plot line from "Generation Kill" based on a real story.
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I'm pretty sure I heard a permutation of this before, but without Anime or Afghanistan, and a cereal bowl instead of cookies. It's either from a movie or a rehashed troll... I started googling for it, but "spitting semen into cereal bowl video tape troll" didn't turn it up and I didn't care to look further. Anyway, lame.
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Not just that, what would come closer would be saying "give her a hug from me" to someone at a distant location, where this person would proceed to give an actual hug to a third party at/near that location.
Now you have this "...but on a computer". The next patent will be the same "...but on a mobile device, using location-based data".
Anything that is from "IBM", "Apple", "Microsoft", seems to be rubber-stamped approved.
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Might because that's all the press really reports on. I'm sure there are thousands of patents granted each month to others.
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Mobile device location-based remote hugging. Would be great if there was an app that could identify where your target was and find someone near by with the app that could forward on your hug to that person.
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the X for a kiss comes from the middle ages when most people were illiterate. to sign a legal document an illiterate person would make a mark on the paper and kiss it; the mark used was often an X.
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I was going to point out Facebook's "poke" feature, but I like yours better.
More egrgious patent.. (Score:2)
is the smiley patent, awarded to Microsoft.
http://www.zdnet.com/microsoft-frowned-at-for-smiley-patent-3039210396/ [zdnet.com]
That could be used to get injunctions over any number of devices. Virtual handshakes and hugs have limited use cases, in my view.
The Three E's (Score:2)
A rather literal take on the first step.
Hopes are high for the 'extend' part, but swiftly dwindle at the thought being virtually extinguished
Almost there... (Score:1)
Re: (Score:3)
Here ya go:
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2008/07/airknife/ [wired.com]
probably just a parody, but why not?
This should not be patentable. (Score:3)
Re:This should not be patentable. (Score:4, Interesting)
If we all ignore them, wont they go away?
Anybody know an easy way to get Slashdot to filter out *all* patent related stories? They are always ridiculous, even when they're accurate!
I had enough of this crap when I wasn't allowed to make a protocol I was implementing work as efficiently as it could, because Motorola had a patent on the concept of "Pardon? Could you repeat yourself please?" in this particular context. Utterly freaking ridiculous.
The current patent system does not encourage innovation -- it encourages taking out patents.
Hint -- follow the money.
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I suspect (without reading the patent, since this IS slashdot) you'll also find that the patent is non-instructive. That is, one skilled in the art could not learn, from the patent, how to implement the invention. They just threw up a bunch of likely techniques in the air without ironing out the remaining practical problems with them, and hope when someone else bothers to solve them, th
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Yup. Prior art in 2006: http://www.mytware.com/ [mytware.com] .
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Prototypes even in 2005: http://spectrum.ieee.org/at-work/tech-careers/adrian-cheok-making-a-huggable-internet [ieee.org] .
Oh for God's sake (Score:3)
Re:Who's first (Score:4, Funny)
teledildonics (Score:1)
How can they patent something that's been known about for so long, even detailed descriptions and working prototypes?
Wasn't this on the Big Bang Theory? (Score:2)
There was an episode where Howard came up with a set of lips which two people could use to virtually kiss. How you kissed and tongued the lips would correspond to the other person.
I think there' prior art for this.
Re:Wasn't this on the Big Bang Theory? (Score:4, Informative)
I saw someone demo a similar system at a small art exhibit a while back (Intro.Inter.Tech 2007 [turbulence.org]). There was not (yet) a force-feedback interface tied in, but kissable cubes / 'lips' with embedded cameras and software that superimposed the kissers over a telepresence system. I was there showing an internet-connected vibrators project (which was not a new idea even then), so tying in appropriate methods to transmit force remotely is not exactly a stretch of the imagination.
Prior art: Mixed Reality Lab in Tokyo (Score:2)
The Mixed Reality Lab at Keio University in Tokyo, Japan did this in 2009 [mixedrealitylab.org] (linked post dated 2010/10/01, research presented on Popular Science's "The Future Of" television show in their The Future of Sex [tv.com] episode, aired in 2009.
The only reference to it remaining on the PopSci.com is Video: Japanese Robot Torso Hugs You Back [popsci.com] dated 2011/06/23.
How much for a license? (Score:2)
I am simply not going to pay Microsoft a license fee each time I hug someone.
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I am simply not going to pay Microsoft a license fee each time I hug someone.
It's all part of their grand scheme to take over the world by charging CAL's for sex.
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That might work. It just might.
I don't seem to be able to get our CIO to pony up for them any other way.
new requirement for patents (Score:2)
We need to stop letting these weasels just get patents for everything they can "think" of, or guess might be viable some day,and then steal the work from the persons who actually makes one a few years later, because they made a good.
I still don't like the idea you can own an idea.
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I recall at least two applications of this same sort of thing being done already. It's not even locked inside the realm of Microsoft's imagination; it's already in use by others!
http://mixedrealitylab.org/virtual-hugs-and-intelligent-pillows-invented-in-asia/ [mixedrealitylab.org]
http://www.mytware.com/ [mytware.com]
http://spectrum.ieee.org/at-work/tech-careers/adrian-cheok-making-a-huggable-internet [ieee.org]
I wish I could bring myself to stop reading patent stories. I don't have enough mental facepalms for them anymore.
Quick, someone send me some money... (Score:1)
So we can patent a virtual vagina! You know for use with your loved one where your out on long business trips (although it could also be used in conjunction with porn sites)
I'll just leave this here... (Score:5, Funny)
And this one too... (Score:2)
I while never use this technology. (Score:1)
How Can Microsoft Invent Something from Star Trek (Score:2)
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More evidence of how broken USPTO is (Score:2)
Virtual hugs and handshakes? Did anyone even question the obviousness here? What's next? Patenting a method by which we should arrive at 4 given that we're adding 2 and 2 or 3 and 1 or 4 and 0?
Prior art (Score:2)
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Re:Prior art (Score:4, Interesting)
Wasn't there a Big Bang Theory episode that feature this technique?
Yes, Howard had a Remote Kissing Machine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9KXKbBKp1A [youtube.com]
MUDs (Score:2)
has anyone considered the implications? (Score:1)
falcon punch/TCP/IP!
I think the trick will be getting that special person to wear the harness...
Awwww... hugz, anyone? (Score:1)
Halo, hello? (Score:2)
Prior art (Score:4, Informative)
I'm pretty sure the Japanese have prior art. I remember reading an article awhile back about virtual kissing devices. Both people had robot lip and tongue devices connected via the net. I'm sure that couldn't be as nasty as it sounds.
But in any case, does this mean that Chuck Lorre owes Microsoft license fees? [the-big-bang-theory.com] Or perhaps vice-versa?
virtual hugs? (Score:2)
Comin' round again (Score:2)
Microsoft Bob and Clippy just won't die: "Your blog says you're sad; would you like a hug?"
Haptic Chicken Jacket.... (Score:1)